It is coming up on the anniversary of something I haven’t explicitly announced here: Howard and I got married.
Personally, I was really excited about contributing to the downfall of Mike Huckabee’s America by being an ‘unwed’ mother. I wanted no part of the historical definition of marriage — I am nobody’s property, and the modern definition has been so contorted that it is basically meaningless. But I am a practical person, pregnancy is expensive (even with insurance), and Howard had a HSA account beefed up from years of being a healthy single guy, so off to the court house we went.
It was an annoying courthouse. The judge asked Howard if he really wanted to go through with it, but didn’t ask me anything. When I complained about this, he said he knew I wanted to go through with it since Howard is a handsome guy. Which implies all sorts of bad things about me. But we managed to get over that hump and he married us. I’m still not sure exactly what I agreed to — the judge slurred his words a lot. But luckily there is no record, in case I did in fact promise to wash Howard’s socks for the rest of my life.
I figured it was a good time to get married. We could say “we’re having a baby… and by the way we are married.” And people would be too excited about the first half of that sentence to make much of a big deal about the second. After all, we’d lived together for many years, moved across the country together and were having a child together. Surely people don’t need a piece of paper to view us as a committed couple, right? Wrong. A lot people were so caught up on the “marriage” part, they kind of glossed over the “baby” part.
It’s sweet that people were happy for us. It is sweet that his family has welcomed me in spite of my shiksa-ness. But it just feels really weird that a signature from a drunk misogynist should give our relationship any sort of significance or legitimacy.
But anyway. One year on, our marriage is still a happy one. One of the best things about Eli is that I got to give Howard a gift he has always wanted. And Eli couldn’t have asked for a better dad.
19 Apr 2011 at 3:12 pm
The first year is always the hardest! Especially with a new baby! There were many times with Thomas when I just like “What have I gotten myself into?” lol but we are going on 4 years and there are still days that I ask myself that, but they are far and in between, one thing I never let happen (as cliche as it sounds), I never go to sleep mad at him, you just never know what the next morning holds, and like Howard, Thomas is a great daddy! So happy for you three! Give Eli a hug and a kiss from us and tell the furry babies hello! Can’t wait to see you guys this summer!